There are probably some who would say our above average sized family is too big. If you ask me on a weekday morning when we are in the throws of getting ready for school, I might just agree. However, most of the time, I love the size of our family. And for quite some time we have considered the possiblity that there is still room for more. Apparently the State of Illinois doesn't think so. Last fall we renewed our foster parent license. We learned alot since the girls joined us and felt prepared to be a family for a child even if it was just for a short time.
Yesterday we got "the" call. There was a 6 year old girl who needed a home and it seemed she would be a good fit for our family. At that moment, I was reminded of how I felt when they called to tell us Haley and Christine were coming home. I was nervous, excited and my heart was full. It's a really good feeling. Then it all came to a sudden stop. Our licensing worker called to tell us it wasn't going to happen. Somewhere along the way the rules had changed and with 6 children, the State of Ilinois thought our family was already big enough.
My heart was broken. Only God can put love in my heart for a child I have never met. I have faith that the family they found for her was better than us. Still, I wish it could have been us to help her grow and sort out some of the things that were going on in her crazy world. Today, it would not be us. I don't believe the Lord has closed this door, maybe opening a different one down the road. I do know God will not let the bureaucracy of our state stand in the way of His plan. They may think they know what the perfect size for our family is, but only God has that figured out.
